


through the wind

by Marvellous



Category: Captain America, Iron Man - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, I am uncapable of writing any fluff for this ship anymore, M/M, Not Beta Read, and a dog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 13:07:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14020905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvellous/pseuds/Marvellous
Summary: “He hurt me, you know? It’s fucked up, but I still loved him.”The dog whined softly, her blue eyes understanding, and too reminiscent of what he'd lost.





	through the wind

**Author's Note:**

> I was gonna write something fluffy then this happened. Sorry!  
> Set after Infinity War I guess?

The news wasn't exactly slow to catch. The world was safe, but far too many lives were lost. One of those lives being Steven Rogers. He no longer wielded the shield he was known for, and the star had long since been ripped from his suit, but he had been a hero until the end. Who could expect any less?

Tony wanted to. He wanted Steve to be the coward and sit this one out, because there had been no way they were both going to make it through this, and if Tony had been the only one fighting in this war, he would've been the one to bite the dust. 

That really was the worst part. After parting on the terms they did, after Steve had lied and destroyed the trust they had, Tony still wanted to protect him. It had been two years and not a day had went by that he didn’t hope the other man was safe. 

Now, he stood in the bitter cold wind, too cold for the end of summer, staring at all that was left of proof Steve had ever been. A large obnoxious headstone that he would definitely have hated, right down to the bold font that stated how he died a hero. Then some quote from the bible. Tony wasn't sure who had chosen everything, someone in the government office who insisted he was given a proper funeral and shit. 

They had asked Tony, but he declined for his own sanity. What right did he have to plan the burial of an ex-lover? 

His mind was blank and eyes unblinking, causing him to jump when he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. A medium size fawn and white coloured dog had sat down opposite of Tony, cocking it’s head as it surveyed the lone human in the field of graves. 

Tony stared at it for awhile, temporarily distracted. It was a stray, evident right down to the missing notch from one of it’s floppy ears, but it showed no fear and signs of leaving. It’s unusually blue eyes concerned as if it was inviting Tony to speak his thoughts out loud. 

“You know, I didn’t even come to the service,” he said bitterly, voice whipped away by the wind.

The dog gently stretched out it’s paws, crossing them deliberately and inviting Tony to continue. 

“He lied to me. That whole time we were together, he knew about my parents. After we promised to always be honest with each other. How could he do that? Steve was supposed to be the one who didn’t do shit like that. I trusted him too fucking much,” Tony was short of breath as he felt his skin heat with the anger he had dug up yet again, “He hurt me, you know? It’s fucked up, but I still loved him.”

The dog whined softly, her blue eyes understanding, and too reminiscent of what he'd lost.

“I still /love/ him,” for the first time, Tony felt his eyes sting with tears, “I love him, and I never got to tell him. He died thinking I still hated him. Which would be easier, right? Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t forgive him, but hell if my heart wasn't still completely Steve’s. I still thought…maybe we could get back what we had, someday. If he came back…”

Tony looked at the dog and wiped his eyes, a sad smile on his lips, “Wishful thinking, right?” 

Sinking to his knees, he reached out a hand to the dog, cautious and careful so as not to spook her. At that, she stood up and padded over the few feet between them, sitting down once more and nudging his hand with her wet nose.

Surprised at how friendly she was, Tony scratched her between the ears and let his heart rate return to normal. The wind started to die down as he kept his hand on the animal, eyes wandering back to the looming headstone in front of them. “Steve would’ve loved you. He was a sucker for animals. Every time that animal shelter commercial came on he cried like a baby,” a fondness washed over Tony’s emotions as he recalled that memory, the way Steve’s eyes crinkled when he had teased him about it. 

It was if that was the metaphorical floodgates for all the good to come back to him. The memories Tony had blocked away for two years, refused to think about, because if he let them back in, surely they’d be tainted with the poison that haunted his brain now. Instead it felt like a summer shower after a dry spell. It came quick, light, and was refreshing to his soul.

He remembered the vividness of Steve’s blue eyes, the humour behind them when he had made a fool of himself the first time he asked him on a date. The way his blonde hair looked in contrast against the white of their sheets with Tony overtop of him. His broad shoulders and the dip in his back that he knew all too well. The steady beat of his heart, the way he sometimes talked nonsense in his sleep. The way he kissed him after a mission, like it was the first and the last. Always. Because in their line of work, you never knew what would come next.

“Oh god,” Tony said shakily, fingers curling into the dogs fur, “He’s gone.”

The dog whimpered softly and raised her paw to his hand, to which he wrapped his arms around her as he cried, completely and fully, after holding back for so long. 

And if he took the blue eyed dog home after that, even after swearing he didn’t want any pets, no one asked him why the change of heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/comments always appreciated <3


End file.
